I was walking for the umpteenth time down the stairs to the laundry room.
You know what’s amazing? Not the fact that I was up at 11:49 p.m. doing laundry, but the amount of thoughts I can think in the fifteen seconds it takes to get downstairs.
Everything from a doctor’s appointment to tomorrow’s breakfast plan to how badly we need new pillows pops in my head. And in between those thoughts are plenty more that are riddled with guilt.
Not patient enough. Wish I hadn’t lost my temper. Didn’t exercise again. Should really call so and so. Not intimate enough. Worked too much. Didn’t work enough. Could’ve done more. Could’ve been better.
It was pretty loud inside my head. So loud that by the time I reached the bottom step, I’d had enough!
STOP UNDERVALUING YOURSELF ALREADY!
I yelled…quietly to myself…cuz it was nearly midnight.
And then I continued the inner conversation:
“You know, if you had to, you could give someone a tour of your home life and point out: Do you know how these drawers got filled with clean clothes? Do you know where that home-cooked meal came from? Heck, even the Taqueria take-out had to be dreamed up by somebody! And who bought that gift for my mother-in-law? Who thought of the homeschool theme for the week? Who scheduled the play date the kids are looking forward to? Who is freaking doing the laundry at 11:49 at night?!!”
And then, there was a calm, almost eerie, silence.
So, I sorted everyone’s socks and underwear.