Taking the POO out of POOls.

by Christine@TheAums on June 3, 2012 · 15 comments

It’s summer and you know what that means…swimming! Since we don’t own our own pool, I have come to appreciate the local community pool. For a small fee, my kids can jump, splash, dunk underwater, get sunburned, and play Marco Polo with a bunch of strangers, not to mention get really tired and fall asleep early.

I love community pools but I don’t always like thinking about what’s in ‘em. Yeah, that thought is pretty gross so I do try to avoid it and take comfort in the post swim shower, the one which we claim is to wash off the chlorine, but I picture more than pool chemicals going down the drain.

And to illustrate my point, I found this:

Only it doesn’t include the worst offender: feces/stool/caca/poop, whatever you want to call it…IT happens.

Like the zombie apocalypse, I can only imagine how a real-life poop in the pool scenario would play out (or I can youtube the Baby Ruth scene in Caddyshack.) I’m absolutely sure the second I saw some other spawn’s poop float by I’d scream as if a shark had suddenly appeared in the deep end.

GET OUT! GET OUT OF THE POOL NOW! RUN FOR YOUR LIVES! CACAAAAAA! And then the madness of everyone scrambling to get out would ensue, arms and pool noodles flailing, water splashing everywhere, all in slow motion of course.

But if my own child did the dreaded deed, well now, ahem, that’d be a different story. C’mon, it’s just my own kid’s poop, nothing to worry about, folks. No biggie. I’m sure I’d be calm and collected, doing my best impression of an airplane stewardess demonstrating where the exits are, only I wouldn’t be mentioning any flotation devices.

Why is another kid’s poop gross while your own’s is cute? Ok, cute’s pushing it, but, if you had to choose between wiping your kid’s butt or another kid’s butt…I know that you know which one you’d choose.

Or maybe not.

I once had a babysitter watch my kids along with her own. This gal had a thing for talking about poop like no other mom, and we moms can talk about poop like nobody’s business (if you haven’t already figured that out from reading this.) She even extended the conversation to include her own and her husband’s!

So, I came to pick up the kids one day and the first thing she told me, in proud warrior-like fashion, is that she changed one of my kid’s poopy diapers.

Great, I thought. Thanks, I said.

Wait, there’s more. She further exclaimed that while her husband was not excited about dealing with another’s child’s poop, she didn’t mind because she knew it was vegetarian poop, not a stinky meat-eating poop like her own children’s (her words, not mine).

You learn something new everyday.

Now if that doesn’t entice you to babysit my kids stop eating meat, I don’t know what will. If anything, do it for the community pools!

Want to read more about my adventures in poop? Do not miss What Goes In Must Come Out!

Hilarious, on the very same evening I wrote this, Yahoo News posted the results of the Swimming Pools Are Public Toilet Bowls for many Survey.

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{ 15 comments… read them below or add one }

Angus June 3, 2012 at 6:35 am

Good advice and very funny! I’m glad to say that the pool I swim at is very clean, and I am also glad that I don’t have to change anyone’s diapers.
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Christine@TheAums June 3, 2012 at 8:23 am

Thanks, Angus…I’m glad this doesn’t deter you from your swimming regime.


Amber June 3, 2012 at 9:29 am

I have a phobia of baths/pools/hot tubs. This made my skin crawl in a major way. when it comes to my children swimming I’m very careful about where they swim. I’m so anal about them getting some kind of bug or something. Thanks for help spreading the word about poo. ;)


Christine@TheAums June 3, 2012 at 2:26 pm

Sorry for the skin crawling nature of this post, Amber…I did throw in a little zombie apocalypse for ya!


Angus June 3, 2012 at 9:38 am

Hey, building up your kids’ immune system is part of being a good parent. I address Pool Poo at about the 11th paragraph of this post:
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Christine@TheAums June 3, 2012 at 2:28 pm

There is so much funny in that post…thanks for sharing! You should really tweet your archived posts…and where is your Facebook page (Angus) Young Man!


Stasha June 5, 2012 at 12:46 am

No wonder my dog’s poo stinks so much…
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Christine@TheAums June 5, 2012 at 7:27 am

At least you don’t have to worry about taking him swimming.


Jessica June 5, 2012 at 6:54 pm

Hilarious! Your babysitter sounds like a strange lady! But, hey, at least she’s honest. Vegetarian poo, generally, does smell better. (Don’t ask me how I know… ahem). I have never seen any poo in any of the pools I’ve been, too. But, I’m sure I will at some point. And that thought kind of grosses me out. :(
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Christine@TheAums June 6, 2012 at 3:23 pm

Jessica, if you ever see the “Closed for routine maintenance” sign at the pool, you’ll know why ;)


Leah June 18, 2012 at 10:16 pm

Brings back memories of my son throwing up in the pool! Until then I really thought waiting 30 min after you eat was BS, but learned yet another thing I was wrong about. It wasn’t much & most ended up on the side, so figured the other kids could just keep swimming. It was mostly water he choked on & my kid is not toxic in the slightest, but you would have thought it was the apocalypse & I, the Anti-Christ, the way they all scattered & glared at me! Now I realize if it were someone else s kid, I would have been grossed out as well.
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Christine@TheAums June 20, 2012 at 1:56 am

Leah, you captured the essence of my post exactly…I’m cracking up at the Anti-Christ comment.


Jeanne July 8, 2012 at 1:02 pm

I read this from my phone late one night while feeding the baby, and I’m just coming back to comment on how it made me laugh! It’s very true- I used to watch my friend’s son, and I never liked changing his poop, but my own kid’s poop was no problem.
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Tracey Black July 23, 2012 at 9:35 am

Ha ha, this is too funny. I hate to admit it but we were one of the families that had a poo casualty. My middle son was 3 at the time and just potty trained. He never had accidents in the pool before, but ended up with an overflowing poo swim diaper. The lifeguards got everyone out and started cleaning the pool. I was MORTIFIED. We didn’t go back to that pool for nearly a year because I didn’t dare show my face there again.
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Christine@TheAums July 24, 2012 at 11:27 pm

Oh no! Sorry, I’m laughing a little, but yeah, I would be totally mortified, too.


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