It’s summer and you know what that means…swimming! Since we don’t own our own pool, I have come to appreciate the local community pool. For a small fee, my kids can jump, splash, dunk underwater, get sunburned, and play Marco Polo with a bunch of strangers, not to mention get really tired and fall asleep early.
I love community pools but I don’t always like thinking about what’s in ‘em. Yeah, that thought is pretty gross so I do try to avoid it and take comfort in the post swim shower, the one which we claim is to wash off the chlorine, but I picture more than pool chemicals going down the drain.
And to illustrate my point, I found this:MyPoolSigns.com
Only it doesn’t include the worst offender: feces/stool/caca/poop, whatever you want to call it…IT happens.
Like the zombie apocalypse, I can only imagine how a real-life poop in the pool scenario would play out (or I can youtube the Baby Ruth scene in Caddyshack.) I’m absolutely sure the second I saw some other spawn’s poop float by I’d scream as if a shark had suddenly appeared in the deep end.
GET OUT! GET OUT OF THE POOL NOW! RUN FOR YOUR LIVES! CACAAAAAA! And then the madness of everyone scrambling to get out would ensue, arms and pool noodles flailing, water splashing everywhere, all in slow motion of course.
But if my own child did the dreaded deed, well now, ahem, that’d be a different story. C’mon, it’s just my own kid’s poop, nothing to worry about, folks. No biggie. I’m sure I’d be calm and collected, doing my best impression of an airplane stewardess demonstrating where the exits are, only I wouldn’t be mentioning any flotation devices.
Why is another kid’s poop gross while your own’s is cute? Ok, cute’s pushing it, but, if you had to choose between wiping your kid’s butt or another kid’s butt…I know that you know which one you’d choose.
Or maybe not.
I once had a babysitter watch my kids along with her own. This gal had a thing for talking about poop like no other mom, and we moms can talk about poop like nobody’s business (if you haven’t already figured that out from reading this.) She even extended the conversation to include her own and her husband’s!
So, I came to pick up the kids one day and the first thing she told me, in proud warrior-like fashion, is that she changed one of my kid’s poopy diapers.
Great, I thought. Thanks, I said.
Wait, there’s more. She further exclaimed that while her husband was not excited about dealing with another’s child’s poop, she didn’t mind because she knew it was vegetarian poop, not a stinky meat-eating poop like her own children’s (her words, not mine).
You learn something new everyday.
Now if that doesn’t entice you to
babysit my kids stop eating meat, I don’t know what will. If anything, do it for the community pools!
Want to read more about my adventures in poop? Do not miss What Goes In Must Come Out!
Hilarious, on the very same evening I wrote this, Yahoo News posted the results of the Swimming Pools Are Public Toilet Bowls for many Survey.