In less than 24 hours I am flying solo to New York City.
There are so many layers to my trip and all of them are filling my head with a myriad of emotions.
They range from…
Excited: Visiting NYC for the first time and exploring the city that never sleeps (gee, that sounds familiar).
Excited: Finally going to meet the folks at iVillage.com where I’ve been an iVoices correspondent for the past 2 years.
Excited: Attending Blogher ’12, my first blogging conference. Unless you count last year’s Homeher’11.
Excited: Meeting online friends in real life like LIZ from THE SIX YEAR ITCH!
Excited: Wearing new clothes, thanks in part to Eyeona, the goddess of shopping.
shitless: Flying. By myself. Leaving my 4 kids and husband for an unprecedented four nights and five days, and then having to fly back. By myself.
It was almost a year ago that I wrote in Fear and Motherhood,
“The few times I’ve flown since [becoming a mom] have always been together as a family which, oddly enough, is acceptable to me because the thought of all of us dying together is more comforting than having orphaned children and a widower to worry about.”
I also begged for someone to relate to my feelings and make me feel normal. Jeanne at Mom Hearts Pinot came through with “flying” colors when she posted, and I quote,
“I, on the other hand, can’t get on an airplane without drinking 3 bloody mary’s and calling my close loved ones for one last goodbye “just in case this metal deathtrap goes down in a fiery bolt over Pittsburgh.” (…may or may not be a direct quote from a message I left my sister before boarding a plane to San Diego…)”
So, how do I prepare for this? Well, I’ve completely given up on feeling 100% prepared.
I’m just hugging my kids a lot, telling them I love them and will miss them, but I know we’ll be seeing each other on FaceTime and Skype. I also made a little chart for them so they can countdown how many breakfasts, lunches, dinners, naps, and bedtimes til mama comes home…kid time is so different from grown-up time.
Tonight I’m planning on having a special dinner with them, although not too special, like not last meal special because obviously. Then I will kiss them all good night and set my alarm for 5:00 a.m. for my adventure to begin.
Mua! (That’s Aum spelled backwards)